


Too Much Information

by impish_nature



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Gen, Halloween hijinks, Pines Family Bonding, Stan's done with his bro, movie marathons, sometimes people should just stop talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 06:37:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8435365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impish_nature/pseuds/impish_nature
Summary: Halloween Hijinks~ The Pines family curls up for a horror movie marathon and Ford probably should just stop talking about how unrealistic the monsters are.





	

**Author's Note:**

> @fan-art-ic made a deal with me (mwahaha)   
> Fic for art ♥ I hope this is what you were expecting hehe (Also in case people ask about the fic being different from the amazing art they’re doing, we’ll be seeing each others contribution when everyone else does and I can’t wait!!)  
> Happy Halloween!

“This is ridiculous.”

“It’s a horror movie, Sixer. It’s not exactly meant to be realistic.”

Stan snorted, shaking his head at his disappointed twin. The four of them were curled up tight on the sofa together, completely immersed in the current movie until Ford had spoken.

“Yeah but this is _absolutely ridiculous_. Can you get more unrealistic? How is this meant to frighten anyone?”

“Now you’ve said that-” Dipper hummed thoughtfully, nuzzling into the small space that had been made for him on the sofa, not willing to admit after Ford’s scoffs, that the movie was scaring him in the slightest. “I bet we could make a much scarier horror movie.”

Mabel gasped, sitting up, gaining a small ‘oof’ of pain from her Grunkle seat as she elbowed him in the stomach. “Can we? Can we make one tomorrow? I have so many ideas-”

“Let’s just watch the terrible movie, how about that for now?” Stan rolled his eyes, trying not to smile at the excitable kids, rubbing at his stomach so that Mabel snuggled back into him in an apology for hurting him. He couldn’t, however, stop the small chuckle as his eyes fell back to Ford, his disgruntled and perplexed face a sight to behold. “Come on, Sixer, it’s just some fun. You didn’t seem to have the same kind of response to- oh, what was it? I can’t even remember the name, I’ve already wiped it-” His grin widened cheekily at the three glares he received for his joke, not pointing out to any of them that as much as they were looking at him in appalled annoyance, all three had somehow shifted closer to him and Mabel’s arms had sneakily tightened around his in one small movement. “Alright, alright, I’m kidding. The vampire horror, with all the pink paint for blood and- didn’t someone’s teeth fall out at one point?”

“Yes but-” Ford groaned, rolling his eyes as he gestured to the TV. “We were all joking at that one and laughing at how bad it was. And then we watched the ghost movie which was actually quite interesting and well done.” Dipper shivered in his lap but he pretended not to notice as the small boy burrowed into the blankets Mabel had thrown over them all, choosing only to keep a grounding hold on him. “But this one…All of you seem engrossed in this one but I just can’t see it.”

“I dunno, what’s not to like, Sixer? I’d have thought you’d like the more interesting monsters in this one. Me? I just think it looks punchable.”

Ford resisted rolling his eyes again, biting his lip to stop from smiling as Stan nudged his shoulder. The running joke was one of his particular favourites out of Stan’s terrible jokes. Much more preferable to any of the memory related ones he was more inclined to let out on an almost daily basis.

“And the squidiclaw is cool! And all that blood!” Mabel gestured wildly, almost knocking over a bowl of sweets in the process as she dramatically re-enacted an earlier scene from the film, Dipper belatedly joining in as she fell against him.

“Yeah, and the dialogues not as bad as ‘oh no! The vampire is after me!’” Dipper grinned up at Ford, voice monotone and robotic, waiting for him to reply in kind as they’d all been doing all evening after the scene from the first movie had sent them into peals of laughter.

“Yes but-” Ford looked over at the film, raising an eyebrow as another man was engulfed by the squidiclaw and dragged downwards into the water. He laughed almost disappointedly, shaking his head as the man screamed, the sound turning into a gurgle as he vanished beneath the waves. “They don’t even hunt like that in real life! What’s the point in taking one victim down at a time? It would grab as many as it could to conserve energy! Plus, who in the multiverse has ever heard of a non-venomous squidiclaw? I’m sure in every dimension I’ve come across them in, they’ve had some kind of paralysing or strength-sapping bite to- why are you all staring at me like that?”

Silence reigned after his words, his three companions all staring at him in varying shades of horror. The TV hissed on unnoticed, the creatures shrieking and dramatic music a background to the suddenly iced over atmosphere.

“You’ve met one of them before?” Dipper’s voice was hushed, awe and nerves all rolled into one. Stan gave a soft grunt of disapproval, as if horror should have won out over curiosity and they should have quietly gone back to what they were doing without commenting on the new information.

“I’ve met several, actually.” Ford went to roll up his sleeve, eyes alight with the thought of telling one of his adventures that hadn’t been quite so disturbing.

At least in his eyes and by his standards it hadn’t been quite so disturbing.

“As Stan rightly put, they’re quite punchable. Well, no, but they have got a soft spot once you’re close enough. The one that grabbed me got a nasty surprise when I shot a bullet into its soft underside. Got him dropping me right off, but not before he left a rather interesting looking scar, he took quite the chunk out of-”

“Nope, OK, I’m done. That’s enough information for me. You can watch the end of this movie without me.”

“Wait, Stan-” Ford dropped his sleeve like it had scolded him, suddenly noting the shaking heads from Dipper and Mabel as Stan went to stand. He winced slightly, the cogs ticking away as he pieced together that perhaps this particular story wasn’t all that interesting whilst they were watching a horror movie about similar creatures tearing people apart. _Duly noted_. “Sit down. I’ll stop.”

“Horror movies aren’t meant to be realistic, that’s the fun of them. You don’t have to think, you just get a bit scared and go away knowing it doesn’t matter because none of it’s real.” Stan sighed, sitting back down with a small grumble and his arms crossed until Mabel snuggled in again and he wrapped his arms around her contently.

“OK, OK, I get it. I mean as I said, the movie is ridiculous. But _maybe_ that’s not a bad thing.” The last sentence came out in a hurry as Stan glared at him reproachfully, daring him to continue.

Usually he was all for hearing about his stories through the portal, he wanted to know everything that had happened to him, though Ford hated the guilty look he wore sometimes when the stories grew grim. But they’d gotten through all that, between them. And it had worked both ways in that regard. Then again, the kids weren’t usually about for those conversations and maybe he needed to remind himself on just how much to filter. Plus Stan was looking at him in mildly concerned irritation, which probably meant ‘it took a chunk out of my arm’ shouldn’t have been said quite so flippantly.

Besides, Stan wasn’t really one to talk from when they’d compared scars before.

“I have a question.”

Everyone blinked as Mabel raised her hand, derailing Ford’s thoughts, her smile hopeful even as Stan looked mildly concerned. “Are the squidiclaws _really_ that darkly coloured? In _every_ dimension? ‘Cause that’s so boring! Fish are so shiny and colourful! Why can’t they be shiny squid monsters?” Stan choked on a laugh as he looked down at her, annoyance and concern vanishing into endearing amusement as her hands moved with her words. “I’m thinking gold! Golden tentacles. Wait! No! Bright red with green suckers!”

Dipper rolled his eyes good naturedly, relaxing into his seat again. “That makes no sense, they’d be terrible hunters! What about bright blue though for camouflage in tropical waters?”

“I like your thinking, Dip-Dop!”

Ford’s eyes lit up as Dipper chuckled, shuffling closer to Mabel and bring Dipper with him as if conspiratorially, though all of them could hear him. “Oh, don’t you worry there, some of them have some extraordinary colours.” Mabel gasped, sitting down again to listen with wide eyed excitement, mouth a small slack ‘o’.

Stan seemed less convinced, though Ford was determined all the same to win this round.

“Why the first one I ever met _glowed yellow_.” He nodded emphatically, smiling all the while. “Fascinating really, the skin itself was translucent, the glow somehow coming from deep within. It was like an angler fish. Glowing in the water to lure creatures down to it.”

“Oh, pretty! What happened next?”

Ford preened under the response, confidence growing. “Well, actually, the guy I was travelling with-”

“Sixer, don’t…don’t answer that question if it will be gory.”

Ford stuttered to a halt, thoughts of screams far worse than those on screen echoing through his head. A young man hypnotised by the pull of the glow, swimming out to his doom. He’d gotten himself caught up in the story accidentally. It really had been a fascinating creature, he had felt its pull himself – _come and play_ \- it had seemed to say. The sun had been bright, the waves calm and cool and a creature had beckoned them into the water, slowly but surely away from the safety of the beach.

But only one of them had realised the danger fast enough.

If it was just a story, perhaps it would have been good for Halloween. Ghosts and ghouls and things that went bump in the night. The kind of story Stan and he would tell one another on a dark night when they were trying to scare one another instead of sleeping, when the moon was full and they told themselves that it was all a game to make themselves braver, made the real bad things that happened less scary.

But then again it wasn’t a story.

And the monsters in it were all too real.

His eyes scanned the kids, twin smiles locked onto faces as they hoped Ford would prove Stan wrong and that tell them that the story had a happy ending.

“O-oh, uhm…well…” The smiles dropped. He tried to smile brightly, eyes going back to the TV awkwardly before cringing as the water in the film turned a familiar shade of red. “Haha…well, you see, the funny thing is…yeah, OK, I’m going to stop talking.”

_OK, note to self. Horror movie nights do not include real stories._

“R-right. Let’s just…” Stan gestured between them all, giving an awkward grin. “Let’s concentrate on the completely illogical and unrealistic movie and take the mick out of it.” Stan kicked out at Ford as he opened his mouth. “In ways that don’t imply you’ve seen one before. Ever. Because they are unrealistic and therefore do not exist.”

“…Duly noted.”

“So, like how that guy is going to survive until the end because he’s the hero even though he just fell over? And any other character would already be dead at this moment?” Dipper hesitantly spoke, words cracking slightly.

Stan glanced at the screen as the guy rolled out of the way of an attack, snorting in response. “Yep, good call. That wasn’t even a good evasion. Wanna bet that he and the pretty girl are the only ones to survive?”

“What’s the point in betting that? That always happens in movies like this!”

“I dunno. Sometimes they throw a spanner in the works for shock value and we lose the main guy right when you think the monster is dead.” Mabel hummed, pointing at Stan and then the candy bowl beside them. “I bet you my share of the candy bowl that only the girl is alive when the credits roll!”

“…the entire candy bowl is yours and mostly eaten. I’m surprised you aren’t climbing the walls, sweetie.”

“Yeah, well, how about instead then I’ll bet…” Mabel’s words trailed to a halt as another scream echoed through the speakers. She shuddered, settling down again, candy bowl forgotten as she grabbed a cushion and squished it to her chest. “On second thought I wanna bet that everyone lives and this is all a bad dream.”

“Let’s rewrite that into the plot, yeah? Let’s rewrite it all as we watch.” Stan piped in quickly, concern flickering across his face and his hold tightening as Mabel’s interest in the movie night vanished in a puff of smoke. It almost seemed a struggle for her to stay optimistic, thoughts dampened by the worry of what her Grunkle had faced through the portal.

“Yes, and just remember that this film really is unrealistic. None of this stuff ever happens like that. So…no worrying about squidiclaws when you’re trying to sleep later, OK?” Ford ruffled her hair that was barely poking out from behind the pillow she was clutching. He frowned when she shook her head, pulling away from him with a small whine.

Stan groaned, head hitting the sofa cushion as he looked up to the ceiling for strength. “…You…You are really not good at this, Sixer.” He rubbed at his temples as if trying to slow an already sprouting headache.

“I’m not…I’m trying to be reassuring, Stan!”

“Yeah, well, you’re not doing good at it when the alternatives you are implying are most probably _worse_ than the movie!”

Mabel and Dipper glanced at one another, twin looks of apprehension marring their faces as the older twins above bickered quietly, hissing words that weren’t really meant for them to hear but too close to really do much about it. Neither one realised the elders were listening intently to their own quiet conversation, both still troubled as to how much the kids were fretting but giving them some semblance of privacy in the close quarters.

“I’m not sure I like this movie anymore. I’m gonna keep thinking about the one that Grunkle Ford fought off.”

“Multiple ones, Mabel, _multiple_. He said he met them more than once.” Dipper looked faintly green at the concept.

They both winced as another scream echoed around them, accompanied by a sickening crunching sound.

“Ok~ Yep, that’s it. I don’t wanna watch this one anymore.” Mabel put her hand up, voice much louder as she already descended from her seat to change the DVD.

“Yeah, can we swap?”

“Uhm- well-”

“Yeah good idea, let’s get this terrible movie off the screen.”

Ford bit his lip nervously as the other three all moved in unison, Stan grabbing the bowls of snacks to stop them falling with the blankets as Dipper followed Mabel to rummage through the DVDs. Mabel quickly stopped the one from playing any longer before they went too far into picking the next one, going so far as to take the DVD out so it wasn’t paused on a gruesome moment. “S-so, who wants some hot chocolate?” Ford’s voice was hesitant, shame bubbling slightly as he cursed at himself for saying anything at all and not just letting the movie run on.

Twin nods of assent and little quiet ‘yes, pleases’ came back to him and he darted out quickly to comply, making sure to add as many sprinkles and marshmallows to one of them as possible. Or at least he started to and then decided bringing in the bits and pieces on a tray for them might get him a better response as he wobbled precariously back into the room.

He grinned as his theory was proved right, only mildly worried when Mabel added another large spoonful of sprinkles to her now piled high mug. Dipper followed suit, covering his in marshmallows before sitting down on the floor in front of the sofa with Mabel beside him. They’d learnt the hard way once before that huddling on the sofa together with hot drinks was a real recipe for disaster.

The silence laboured on as the next movie started, the atmosphere nothing like the warm amusement it had been earlier, nor the thrill of getting jump scared together and laughing at the outcome.

“So, I know its Halloween and all but, how’s about we watch a comedy at the end of the night?”

Small noises of agreement met Stan’s words.

“Oh! We should watch the special Ducktective episode they brought out!” Dipper turned to look at the three of them, flailing marginally to make sure he didn’t spill his drink in the process. “Everyone is excited about what they’re going to do this year considering we all thought the show had ended entirely.”

“Yeah, let’s forget we ever saw that movie.” Mabel sunk into the cushions that had been piled up on the floor around her, cradling the large cup between both hands.

Ford coughed awkwardly. “I mean…there’s nothing like that in this dimension. And no one here will be venturing out of it anytime soon…”

“Ford. Stop. Talking.”

Ford ignored him, eyes on the twins instead as he mulled over a new thought winging its way through his head. He paused the movie before it had really began, catching the uneasy but curious looks they gave him in return. “How about I tell you about some of the more remarkable creatures I met around the multiverse? The people, the places? The market places full of rowdy travellers all with their own adventures to tell?” His eyes softened as the kids eyes grew, bodies curving inwards to gaze at him intently. “Or how about the ones that looked after people lost in the woods? The ones who had villages high in the trees away from the predators of the forests and were happy to lend a hand and a bed to a weary traveller when they wandered off the paths?”

“Sixer, will you-” Stan growled, hackles rising slightly until he realised with a jolt what Ford was actually saying. He shook his head, flopping back into a comfortable position with an eyebrow raised as he waited for Ford to continue, his own mug of hot chocolate resting warm against his chest. “Wait, ignore me, that’s actually a good idea. Continue.”

“Thank you.” Ford huffed, trying to look indignant at the interruption and not let a smile slip through, even as Mabel clambered into his lap to listen all the more intently.

“So? Did you meet anyone cool? Did you ever meet a king? Or a knight? Or maybe-” Mabel gasped, eyes sparkling with delight. “A princess?”

“That’s no fun.” Dipper bounded up to shuffle back onto the sofa too, Stan grabbing the mug from his hands before he wobbled up. “What was that about travellers in the market places? Were their pirates? Or bounty hunters?”

“Oh, pirates! Yes that’s a good one.” Mabel practically vibrated in her seat, glancing over her shoulder at their Grunkle.

“Yep, OK, now you two have got me curious. Any pirates in any of them stories you got, Sixer?”

Ford hummed thoughtfully, eyes gleaming as he built up the excitement, a smile coiling onto his face.

“You know, I think I might now that you mention it.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was amusing to write XD Happy Halloween everyone! I’ve got this on queue cause I shall probably be looking after a nibling disguised as a baby dragon this evening ♥


End file.
